Away v Hollies Utd.

Salva save 'Better than Banks'

A recent opinion poll has revealed that the public believe that Sean Barker’s save against the Hollies on Sunday was “better than Banks”. Locoboys.co.uk investigates…For years there has been much debate over the ‘best ever’ goalkeeping save. Some people say it was Banks, others say it was that Columbian bloke at Wembley, and Rob would probably simply say ‘Legend’.

However, Locoboys.co.uk went out on the streets Sunday afternoon, and we asked the people of Bournemouth what they thought.

Random passer-by Andy Smith of Talbot Woods, said: “Banks’ save was sheer class, however I only think that the size of the game made the save what it was – you could have seen that on a parks pitch and would not think anything of it. After seeing video evidence of Sean’s save for Ferndown Locomotive on Sunday, I would say that his is the best”.

Moments later we managed to catch up with another random passer-by Robin Folds

, who noted that he was at both games – the Loco match, and the England one, and holding a bag of Bassets Jelly Babies, he enthused “Barker’s save was genius, he took a lot of time to think about the best way of keeping the ball out of the net, and he did it well”.

So, there is it, Barker’s save is officially ‘better than Banks’ – however we’ve got some news for you Sean…

Unfortunately it did not rank as the best ever save in the world, as that accolade went to Roubo en Vigo, for Celta Vigo, who came up with this corker…

Salva instructions: “Press PLAY to play it”.

Hollies far from prickly

Loco scored six on Sunday at King George as we disposed of Hollies in a good performance, which saw wonder-boy Kyle Eaton score four. PS: Who writes these headlines?Loco started in the best possible way, as inside 50 seconds, Kyle Eaton was set free after a good through ball, and the young striker held off his marker to slot home from close range.

The goal put the home side in a good frame of mind, and we were playing some attractive football at times, with Andy, Ali and Kyle all looking very menacing up front. Andy was having a lot of the ball on the right-side and was making in-roads at every opportunity, whereas Ali was doing great in holding the ball up.

The Loco defence of Rob, Cash, Steve and Stu were not being threatened much, however, managed to deal professionally with any counter-attacks, clearing to safety. Simon, Sam and Matt were in midfield, and although the shape was very dodgy at first, they managed to get their foot into the game the more it developed.

On 5 minutes Loco were two up, the ball was on the left, and found Kyle in the box, who collected the ball, and turned sharply to pass home a shot into the left corner of the net, giving the keeper no chance.

Loco were 3-0 up soon after, as a Bomber corner found the feet of Simon Candy (pictured), who, unmarked, casually side-footed the ball powerfully into the net.

At times Loco were guilty of over-playing it – Dave trying to walk it into the net, the team playing cross-field balls which were being intercepted – and Bomber with wild lashes at the forest.

However, Hollies didn’t really cause too much hassle, but when they did, Sean was in goal to again produce a wonderful display – the quality of which, was summed up in the second half with a wonder-save which he tipped over the bar.

It was 4-0 on 35 minutes, as Ali was put in on goal, and as he approached the keeper, he lofted the ball over the opponents head, and it hit the underside of the cross-bar and nestled nicely into the net – great stuff from our re-invigorated hero up front.

Half-time: Ferndown Locomotive 4-0 Hollies

The second half saw Loco score two more goals, and we also did just enough to keep goals conceded tally blank. Kyle scored his hat-trick on 60 minutes, when Rob took a left footed in swinging corner – it was cleared at first, but found the feet of our departing left-back again, who this time produced a great cross onto the head of Kyle, who couldn’t miss from 5 yards, and he made it five for the Locomotive.

Then it was six – the ball was on the left, and Sam fed Kyle, who managed to twist and turn, and manufacture himself a chance all by himself, and when he met the goalie, he simply nudged the ball with the outside of his right-foot into the corner of the net – and a well-taken goal it was too – 6-0 to the Loco.

If we were guilty of anything during our performance today we did take our foot off the gas slightly, as Hollies managed to break the off-side trap (or did they?), however the one-on-one battle of striker vs Salva was won by the long-haired Italian, as he managed to gather and clasp the shot, much to the delight of the six Loco fans on the touch-line. Similarly, their burly striker managed to hit the post, however fortunately it was cleared to safety.

In the later stages of the game, Will, Darren and Mike were introduced, all of whom had a positive influence on the game, Darren and Mike especially combining well, which resulted in a close few chances, one of them coming when the ball was squared back to Andy, only for his shot to go just wide. Another opportunity for Smith came on about 70 minutes, when Kyle played him in, and he superbly took a shot first-time, however it was straight down the keepers throat – but it was excellent to see a new lease of life in the right-sided striker.

Dave again tried to dink the ball into the net, only for the keeper to save, and Bomber too tried to launch the ball into God’s kingdom, only for it to bounce off the Pearly Gates and end up on the pitch next door.

Hollies had one more opportunity before the match was over, a strong shot (or header) from a corner, but the flying leaper Sean managed to palm the ball away and over the bar – a top drawer save – not that he had time to think about it or anything….

In all, much better from Loco – our ‘run’ starts here! Ali will be posting up the fixtures on the web-site very soon so keep your eyes peeled. We can get four wins in March, and if we don’t, we’d be hard done by – might be nice to earn Paul a photo on the BFA web-site perhaps??

Final Score: Ferndown Locomotive 6-0 Hollies

Sean puts in Royal performance

We always knew Salva has played in goal at an extremely good level when he was younger, but most of the Locoboys didn’t actually believe him, until Sunday that is… That’s right, the Loco Number One single-handedly won Loco a point against the League leaders with a string of fine saves.

This report is not being arse-licking because I forgot to mention his wonder-saves from the previous match against the Royals, where we won 4-3 – far from it. Although in the home encounter, Sean pulled out some wonder stops, in this match at Christchurch Rec, Salvatori put in a first-class performance, with 5 or 6 amazing stops from close range.

The game started extremely well for Loco, Dave and Cash were back in the line-up after being out for various reasons, and we started with a 4-3-3 formation – and it worked. Moments into the game, Loco won a corner, and after it was swung in by Lee, the ball bobbled around the box, and Simon Candy was on the hand to power the ball into the back of the net from close-range, a great start for Loco.

Then only five minutes later it was two – when Bomber played the ball into Dave with his back to goal, and he clipped over a curling ball into the path of the on-running Andy, who took it on, rounded the keeper [eventually], and laid the ball square to Ali to was on hand to stroke the ball over the goal line from close range.

And Sweet Jesus, another five minutes later, we scored again – Lee Arnold played the ball onto the head of Dave, who flicked the ball on into the path of Ali on the edge of the box, who shrugged off the defender, and sent a vicious right-footed shot into the left corner of the goal, past a stranded Royals keeper. Unbelievable stuff.

Loco were really on top, and although we didn’t put many more shots on the Royals goal throughout the half, we really were doing so well. However Royals were slowly getting back into the game, boosted by some superb cutting counter attacks – however on most occasions Cash and Bramley dealt with the strikers, and even if they did get through, Barker was on hand to produce some fine saves.

Sean was in some amazing form, and twice he saved one-on-ones with his feet, another time with his hand around the post, all of which kept Loco in the game.

Royals did manage to score two before half time, which was unfortunate for Loco, and it was a harsh reflection on the good deeds Salva had done throughout the rest of the half – but the two goals they did score were quality – good attacks, and clinical finishing.

Elsewhere in the half, Loco did have a half-chance when the Royals keeper mis-kicked a back pass and it found the feet of Andy, however the right-sided striker was under pressure and could only put the ball wide from a considerable distance.

Half time: Christchurch Royals 2 – 3 Ferndown Locomotive

In the second half Loco were under the cosh for large periods, and they had a number of shots on goal, which were either dealt with by Sean, or fired just wide.

On 60 minutes though, they did manage to score, after a good attack was eventually finished coolly by their nippy midfielder – 3-3.

It could have been worse though for Loco as Sean kept us in the game once again – as the Loco defence unsuccessfully tried to utilise the off-side trap, only for the Royals striker to beat it – and as he went one-on-one with Sean, he struck the ball low towards goal, but the feet of Sean got in the way to prevent Loco from losing the game.

Towards the end of the game, Sam moved into centre-midfield, pushing Simon out to the left, and this nearly paid instant dividends, as Steve played the ball forward to Sam, who then switched it out to the left to Simon, whose first time cross was aimed towards Andy at the far post, however he was bundled to the ground by the Christchurch defender, and everyone thought it should have been a penalty, apart from the referee, who decided the challenge was legitimate.

Simon again was in on the action on 84 minutes as Bomber played a corner onto the head of the Loco midfielder, and his powerful header towards goal was palmed away by the Royals keeper – the first thing he did right all game pretty much [the keeper that is, not Simon]!

And then on 88 minutes, Loco had a corner and the ball was cleared as far as Dave, who struck the ball powerfully towards goal, and the Royals keeper was on hand to tip the ball over the bar – thus preventing Loco from securing yet another great win against a team that is probably going to get promoted this season.

Final Score: Christchurch Royals 3 – 3 Ferndown Locomotive

Mersh and the Ladyboys

The Official Ferndown Locomotive web-site has managed to catch up with Kendall Mersh, who has been in Thailand for a couple of weeks now, and gave us this interview…The Loco work-horse played his last match for a while recently against Pinocchio, and although we lost the fixture 4-1, Kendall was not so disheartened, as he had a plane ready to take him to the delights of Thailand, where Sam Davis caught up with him…

Kendall told us: “After a 12 hour flight in which I got half an hour sleep I got into Hong Kong late afternoon. My hostel, a YMCA (though it was more like a hotel as it had porters) was in Kowloon right on the golden mile which is what most people think Hong Kong is – huge neon lights everywhere. The city is absolutely crazy, the people do not go to sleep, and I mean ‘do not go to sleep’. Shops are open pretty much 24 hours and it is busier at 1am than midday, far more so than New York”.

“My first day I walked around Kowloon checking out the pretty neon signs. It’s cool because though the main language is Cantonese and writing is all in Chinese, the road names are still English – Nathan road, Prince Street etc. I subsequently decided to buy a Coke can telephone… glad to see I’m not wasting my money then!”

“I also got a tram up into the mountains-quality views, really peaceful, tropical like rainforests….. and a bloody McDonalds!!”

“I also went to Lantau Island, Hong Kong’s biggest island. Its really rural and I decided to get a taxi to the top to see the ‘Temple in the Clouds’ which has the largest outside Buddha in the world. ‘Temple in the Pissing Rain and Fog’ is a better description. The only road up to the top was a single narrow lane road and you could see absolutely nothing out the windows. You only saw cars at the last moment yet this didn’t stop the taxi driver from flooring it so it was genuinely scary”.

“It was so foggy at the top that I could only see the outline of the 30 metre Buddha at the top… and he was right infront of me! I also visited the monastry at the top which was pretty amazing. A monk told my fortune saying ‘the graves of your ancestors will not trouble you this year’. Although I paid only 15p for this priviledge I still think I got ripped off!”

“After Hong Kong I flew into Thailand and spent 5 days in Bangkok and its bloody amazing! Everything is crazily cheap, one pound a night for a hotel room, you can eat out for a pound as well. My first day in Bangkok I met up with and old school friend who was on his last day of holiday in Thailand. We went to a Thai boxing fight night with 2 Thai locals, one of them a Thai fighter himself who was a bouncer at a bar. We got front row seats for £4.50 pounds. The match was live on a national Thai channel and the camera was facing directly at us all through the night so you will probably see us on Eurosport sometime in the future!”

“In the daytime I have seen some amazing temples, sampled loads of Thai food, its gorgeous. And here’s what the lads want to hear, yes I have seen plenty of lady-boys! I thought they were a bit of a joke, but actually this bouncer guy I went to the boxing with said they are well dodgy.. They will try and mug you, yet I’ve still seen Western men walking around with them! Shocker!”

“I also went elephant riding – their shits are as big as coconuts, I took some photos if anyone’s interested – and the amount they piss could at least put out a medium sized Australian bush fire”.

More of Kendall’s antics will be provided on the Locoboys web-site very soon. Cheers for keeping us up to date Kenny – hope the knee gets better [he shafted it on a rock you see - more on this story later in the week].

Loco mugged by Pinocchio

Loco were mugged on Sunday at Chapel Gate as we went down 4-1 to Pinocchio, despite dominating proceedings. Kyle Eaton notched our only goal in a disappointing game.Loco must have had about twenty corners throughout the ninety minutes, and we really were all over the home side, however four goals on the break ensured that Loco were to go home without any points. Although Kyle Eaton did net for the Locomotive, it wasn’t enough, and as one of their players said, “you were mugged”.

Loco have been mugged in the past on numerous occasions, however Sunday’s game beared a stunning resemblance to the happenings in Barking on January 26th, as the Barking and Dagenham Recorder explains…

“A 68 year-old woman needed a hip replacement operation after being mugged. Two thugs pounced in the Tesco car park, Highbridge Road, Barking, as she returned to her car”.

“A dark-coloured saloon pulled up beside her and one of the occupants reached out and grabbed her bag, which was over her shoulder”.

“The woman attempted to hold on to the bag and was dragged along by the moving vehicle before being forced to let go. She was left on the ground with a fractured hip and found by passers-by”.

As you can tell, locoboys.co.uk did not have a reporter at this game, but you can probably spot a theme – we were robbed. In our next match we play Shoulder of Mutton [since then the match was postponed] therefore we should be aiming to get back up the table with another three points.

Final score: Pinocchio 4 – 1 Ferndown Locomotive