Five Star Jimbo Show against hapless Three Cross dross

A pumped up Loco brimming with confidence from last weeks performance strode onto a dewy pitch at Three Legged Cross ready to dish out the smack down to the next team that crossed our path, this came in the form of a lively Three Cross team.

With Juande Cashmore again being let down by one or two individuals, (we wont mention names because that would be unfair to Dave and Jacko, and the host of other big name players on ‘international drinking duty’ in Manchester …did Kirk wear his shell suit again Smithy?) the shrewd manager that he is drafted in a couple of the old school in the shape of Westy and Chris ‘your mum’ Brown.

The team shaped up with Kris ‘Point blank’ Legg in goal, lightening Gricey at right back, Skip Robinson and Neil ‘pinpoint’ Dall in the middle with Westy on the left. The midfield was made up of Sammy Davis Jr, Jim Legg (fresh from the Barca slut fest), Ali ‘quick reactions’ Carmichael and Browner, leaving Casper and Rik Waller up front.

After a bizarre introductory rambling rant from the rugby ref who took a shining to Matt Robinson, manager Cashmore; with bum buddy Dan Carr in tow, spelt out a stern team talk. It was rounded off with the immortal words ‘don’t concede’ hammered into us 3 times…within 45 seconds of kick off Loco were one down. Well played lads!! The move materialised from their kick off with a freak shot left of the 18yard box spearing through the crisp Autumn breeze and nestling in the top corner, much to the surprise of the Three Cross player and shock of the Loco team who are getting a taste for giving the opposition a one nil lead before waking up.

On a spacious pitch both teams were trying to play ‘the beautiful game’, and a Loco equaliser was soon to be plundered. A long ball arrowed through the defence; skipped off the turf and wrong footed the advancing keeper, allowing Rik to nip in and slide the ball into an open net, 1-1 game on!!

Although bursting forward regularly Loco struggled to retain the ball and began riding their luck. A Three Cross set piece nearly punished the Loco chancers, as the cross come shot beat Leggy only for a leaping Cashmore (on for Westy who enjoyed a 10 minute cameo) to appear at the last second and divert the goal bound effort using his ever effective reinforced skull. It was this moment that turned to Loco tide!

Loco’s second was fashioned from some sick top of the range skill up he left hand side from eventual gimp of the game Jonny ‘Casper’ Haines, who won a corner, slung it into the mixer only for the blatant goal to be claimed by the Trojan Jim Legg, still in search of his  first victory in Loco colours. 2-1! Brimming with confidence and genuinely enjoying their football Loco were starting to express themselves with Browner and Sammy D. regularly marauding forward, and the defence standing resolute.

A third was added before half time as Rik rode a couple of tackles on the edge of the area only to fire superbly into the bottom corner with a crisp strike. The erratic ref used his whistle for once and blew for half time with Loco confidence brimming, wanting more!

Half-time: Three Cross 1 - 3 Ferndown Locomotive

The second half continued in positive Loco vain as Three Cross failed to pose any threat except the odd Leggy juggling act, but even then the Loco stopper was merely toying with opposition.

The second half was littered with Loco efforts. It featured Jonny firing blanks as usual, Cashmore wiping out the terrified Three Cross goalie with EVERY corner that was delivered, Matt Robinson shuffling to left back and linking up with the cheeky Yid Browner, also Sammy D. having a drifting effort swing agonisingly wide and Ali performing the slowest reactionary turn in Locomotive history as he regularly broke from midfield.

However, it was soon to turn into the Man of the Match performance Jim Legg show as he netted twice more to claim a hat trick. On both occasions he linked up with Rik who firstly clipped in a deft free kick for Jim to out leap the keeper to make it 4-1. Loco’s 5th and Jimbo’s 3rd came from a Watkins cross, with the midfielder expertly controlling it in the area and sweeping it into the net out of the reach of the hapless Goalie. Rik went on to hit the woodwork again with another finely crafted freekick, and besides nearly starting on one of the Three Cross players mums, he and Jim had caused the irreparable damage. Job done, game over, Loco rise to mid table!!

The confidence and banter stemming from the Loco outfit was a fine advert for the club who; along with the players coming in, willing to answer their clubs SOS, have a squad that really do get passionate about not fulfilling their potential, players who are proud to pull on the club jersey of Ferndown Locomotive, led by Harry (no longer Juande) Cashmore…. I’m still not happy with the gimp award though.

Full-time: Three Cross 1 - 5 Ferndown Locomotive

Crafted by the only and only… Jonny Haines

Tiegla pick-pocket three points from Loco

Locomotive somehow lost 3-0 on Sunday, in a game where we ruled the roost for 70% of the game.  We came up against high flying Tiegla Tiles at King George on Sunday, in a match would would really be a good indication of how we’d fare this season.

On the football side, Loco would have nothing to worry about as we not only matched them, but outplayed them through much of the game - but in terms of the all important goals, well, Tiegla were the side that came away with the last laugh, scoring, as they did, three quick fire goals.

Loco began the game with Kris in goal, and a back four of Chris Hopkins, Mat Robinson, Matthew Webb, and Paul Cashmore.  In midfield we sported Luke Mellor, Andy Smith, Sam Davis, and Ali Carmichael.  Up front was Jonny Haines and Dave Hall - Neil was our only sub.

We pretty much realised last season that Tiegla are a confidence side - if they concede first, their heas go down, but if they score first, they play like a team of pros.  Unfortunately for us, our opponents took the lead inside the first 60 seconds!  In a sweeping move starting from the right, they managed to get a cross in, and their striker was on hand to nod it home at the near post.

Unbeleivable as it was, Loco brushed ourselves off, and then outplayed our fellow Division Three side for the rest of the half.  Chances came relatively frequently, with Ali laying off for Sam, who fizzed wide.  Dave had a chance to net, and Ali coldn’t get a shot away in time.  Jonny was proving a menace up front - and during all of this the Ferndown defence was incredibly resiliant, with Mat and Cash particularly impressing.

Somehow, we didn’t score for the rest of the half - and this was a travesty con sidering the amount of possession we had.  Even with a threadbare squad, we were playing some tremendous football at King George, and it was only by fortune that we didn’t equalise.

Indeed, our misery could have been compounded further when a long range Tiegla shot came in on 40 minutes, a power-driver of a shot.  Thankfully though, the legend that is Kris Legg in goal, managed to pull of an incredible save, and touch the ball onto the cross bar, ensuring the ball went up and over, rather than up and in!

Half time: Ferndown Locomotive 0 - 1 Tiegla Tiles

The second half, again, saw Loco come up trumps in herms of possession.  We managed to carve out chances, but the finishes just weren’t there, with Dave on 60 minutes being particularly guilty of not putting the game away, with a right footed lob over the bar, when a left footed thwack would have surely been easier…

This, unfortunately, was a bit of a turning point for Loco, because moments later a long hopeful ball from a Tiles defender, went intot he path of their number 9, who did well to keep his feet, then side foot home a lovely finish to the left of the diving Kris Legg - to make it 2-0 to the away side.

Then later, it was 3-0 - as a free kick was conceded on the edge of the box, and a Tiles midfielder stepped up to blast the ball into the top-right of the goal, taking a deflection off Mat Robinson on the way - meaning the Cashmore’s attempted clearance would only be in vain.

3-0 - unbelievable!

Well, the game petered out somewhere for the home side in the last few minutes, and as the final whistle blew our team were quite simply astounded at how we managed to leave the pitch with no points whatsoever.

Fair play to Tiegla, they stuck to their guns and did the business in front of goal.. but I can assure them, that next time we play them, we’ll certainly try to teach them a few lessons!

Final Score: Ferndown Locomotive 0 - 3 Tiegla Tiles

Verwood get three points at King George

The mighty Ferndown Locomotive met AFC Verwood at a fog blessed King George V playing fields, with the lads determined to put last weeks embarrassment firmly behind them. Depleted on the numbers the manager aka the injured ‘Iron Paws Cashmore’ was forced into a shuffle of personnel and formation.

The cat Kris Legg started in goal, with a back three comprising of Neil Dall , Matty Skip Robinson and Jimmy  Redford.  Keen to bolster numbers in midfield Big Jim was accompanied by Kirkster and Jacko, with Smithy and Polish on the flanks. The absence of Rik, Ali & Cleasey meant Big Dave got the nod upfront with The Haines.

As the sun crept out, the Locomotive started with the wind in their sails with some defiant and organised defending and some neat fluid forward movements with both Smithy and Polish getting involved early on up the flanks. With Kirk and Keith both starting to control the middle of the park, Loco fashioned the first chance of the encounter with the Haines skipping past the sluggish left back to whip it in for the galloping Jim who was unable to connect leaving the goal gaping!

Wanting to take advantage of our superior height a number of set pieces and corners followed with Keith and Jimmy looking dangerous but still the deadlock could not be broken. In goal Kris Leggs continued kicking improvement created a chance for Haines, utilising on a defensive mix up (I expect he aimed for Dave hence the confusion). With the ball bouncing over the final man, Haines latched onto it stretching to strike it past the on coming goalkeeper, with defenders chasing back to intercept, the effort alas did not have the legs to nestle in the net. With a number of chances squandered it was surely just a matter of time.

After half an hour, first blood unfortunately fell to Verwood. They broke down the right after claiming possession in what was a debatable foul on Dave (thankyou to Mr Cashmore Sr for refereeing by the way), getting to the by line the winger pulled it back for a Verwood striker to side foot it home through a sea of Loco legs.

As the half ebbed away and Loco determined to get back into the fixture a sweeping move broke down the left. Dave fought to hold up the ball only to thread it through to a marauding Chris Hopkins who expertly shrugged off the defender to thrash it, side footed past the ‘keeper, a ferocious solo celebration followed only for the Linesman to gun the excited Polish migrant down as he held his flag aloft …a debatable offside!

Half time: Ferndown Locomotive 0 -1 AFC Verwood

A half time Cashmore pep talk (minus the cotton mouth) fuelled Loco for a sun drenched second half. The dominance wasn’t to be continued however as Verwood started to gain possession and monopolise the creative movement restricting the Loco wing backs influence on the game. The defensive threesome valiantly kept Verwood at bay with Robinsons last minute toe-ins, Jimmy putting his head to use and Neil distributing for rare Loco attacks. The game was to descend into hand-bags, with late tackles, blue language, shirt pulling and angry looks (‘he wants to punch me ref’ quote Eaton) keeping the ref on his toes.

The half continued as the best Loco moves came through eventual MOM Jims excellent distribution often ending in set pieces, which Jacko and Jim were unlucky not to convert. This pressure did pay off in the end with Jacko deftly striding past the left back, pulling it back to a tumbling Dave who beat two players to sweep the ball in. 1-1!

As tempers flared Verwood fed of the bad vibes and responded by stretching the play to the flanks, and by keeping possession and playing football in our half, an inevitable winner was in the air. Minutes later the sustained pressure told and the black and yellow of Verwood stroked the ball home. During the move Skipper Matty ‘Sugar Ray’ Robinson (quote Gricey) was blinded by the red mist in an in-box incident governed only by Queensbury rules, this was to cement his post-match Gimp award. 2-1 Verwood.

The game was nearing a conclusion, giving a chance for Cashmore to make history by introducing Loco’s youngest senior player, the Chairmans son Scott….. for the last 20 minutes, aged 15 years and 50 weeks who came in for Hopkins at wing back.

The game ended with a Loco defeat, however with huge encouragement coming from some solid defending, sweeping thrusts forward and neat passing, time to draw a line under it and stride on proudly….we can’t be too far off boys!!! Chin up hey!!

Final Score: Ferndown Locomotive 1-2 AFC Verwood

A big thank you must go out to Jonny Haines for writing this match report, you did us proud Jonny.

Falcons swoop to claim cup shock

After comprehensively dispatching of Boscombe Celtic in the previous round, Ferndown Locomotive were up against Falcons on Sunday - a new side in Sunday league football who were in a lower division, and who are looking to be moving up the diviional tables as quick as they can.

The game started with trusty Kris Legg in goal, and a defensive four of Matthew Webb, Big Jim, Mat Robinson and Neil Dall.  In midfield we had Sam, Andy, Dave, and Keith; leaving Jonny and James to lead the line.  Ali and Jimmy were named substitutes.

From the off, it was clear that the Falcons were going to be a difficult team to play.  Although the standard of football wasn’t great (from both sides), the communication between the away team was much better than that of the Ferndown massive…  indeed, the Falcons carved out a number of early opportunities, however the awareness of Kris, mixed with the persistance of the Loco defence, meant that things were pretty much water tight.

Ferndown didn’t really fashion many first half chances.  Andy had a lot of the ball down the right flank, and together with the centre-midfield two, he was combining well with them and Jonny - however, despite the dominance on this side of the pitch, we rarely got a shot on goal!

Falcons meanwhile were pretty strong, were chasing the ball down, and were shamefully winning a large percentage of headers in the middle of the park - and this was probably our downfall - they were first to the first and second ball, and this gave them license to pick out some pretty crisp passes to their strikers, who had chances, but just didn’t convert.

Half-time: Ferndown Locomotive 0 - 0 Falcons

Just after half time Sam came off and was replaced by Ali, and soon after Jimmy Redford came on for Matt Webb.  The game continued in a similar vein to the frist half, with a lot of action in the middle third of the pitch, but no real outcome!

We had a few chances, with Jonny and James looking to penetrate, but the eventual goal came from the other team - and it occured on 60 minutes, when their striker nipped in to notch the first goal of the game, much to the despair of the eleven players on the pitch wearing red and black.

Indeed, if you speak to a Falcons player, you may have well thought there were twelve home players at King George, as often, they seemed to question the abilities of the ref, and this was only compunded on 75 minutes, when Loco were awarded a penalty when Jonny Haines was felled in the box and rolled to the floor like a sack of excrement.

Given his sptirelyness, you’d have thought that the young lad would have got up to slot it home, but it was actually Jimmy Redford who opted to step forward for the kick - and he powered it home down the middle of the goal in no uncertain terms, and Loco were back in the game at 1-1.

So with the game nicely poised, and surely a potential winner on the cards, which way would it fall?  Well, to cut a lon story short, it was Falcons who got it.  A great move by the midfield enabled their nippy winger to get a bit of space on the right, and he managed to feed through a nice sqare pass to his team-mate, who could do nothing but caress the ball home into an empty goal.

With 3 minutes to go there was a brief showing of some “Cash Leg”, as he took of his kit to give the team a boost in the final stags - however, even this didn’t materialise, as the whistle blew, and Loco found themselves dumped out of the cup by lower league opposition for the first time in a very very long while.

Final Score: Ferndown Locomotive 1 - 2 Falcons