This is fully to the credit of one of Loco’s ever presences this season, part time Sky Pundit, Full time Tom Cruise impersonator (well… from Cocktail at least) Andy Gray.

Andy has furnished us with match reports for each of the games this season at no extra cost other than a weekly dollop of ‘loco love’. As an under graduate at Bournemouth Uni Andy is ’studying’ a sports journalism course and in an attempt to earn extra credit he has started his own Sports Blog.

Andy would really appriciate it if you could take time out of your busy Friday afternoons at work to read, digest and reply to his posts on the blog:

http://andygrayjnr.blogspot.com

Cheers chaps

Andy S

24-01-10 FERNDOWN LOCOMOTIVE (1) 1-4 (1) Habourside

Ferndown Locomotive were brought back down to earth on Sunday as they suffered defeat at the hands of Turlin Moor residents Harbourside. The scoreline flattered the away side in a scrappy affair, which was overshadowed by a refereeing circus.

　　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　K Legg

B Haines 　 　 　 　 　 　Hall (c) 　 　 　 J Legg 　 　 　 　 Hopkins

Phillips 　 　 　 　 　 　 Eaton 　 　 　 　 Carmichael 　 　 　 Gray

　　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 Haines 　 　 　 　 Groves

Subs: Shearing, Redford, Levie, Carr, Ayrton

A cloudy sunday morning at King George saw a jubilant Ferndown Locomotive take on Harbourside. The last time these two sides met they played out a competitive 2-2 draw in the driving rain. Sunday’s game looked for a long time like it would be a similar affair, with both sides trading blows in the opening stages.

It was Harbourside that looked the more dangerous in the opening exchanges, testing goalkeeper Kris Legg early on and forcing some impressive blocks out of the Loco backline.　

Loco were looking to work on a through ball style of attack and it almost worked early as Haines threaded the ball to Gray but a well timed tackle took the ball as he pulled the trigger.　

The game continued end to end before first blood was drawn by the visiting side. A slick move wrong footed the home defence and a visiting attacker was able to break free and produce a deft chip which eluded the onrushing Kris Legg.

The Galacticos refused to lie down and almost hit straight back. A slick move saw Matty Groves through on goal one on one. His attempt to round the goalkeeper was blocked and a weak clearance was intercepted by Gray, who moved into the box but was unable to keep the ball down, seeing his shot sail over the bar.

Groves then tested the visiting keeper again, after Eaton was fouled on the edge of the box. The jinxing midfielder was brought down after a clever move through the middle of the park. Groves hit a solid effort from the resulting free kick but it zipped agonisingly over.

Eaton then gave Loco another opportunity, his clever run saw him beat three defenders, ghosting into the box. As he closed in on goal he was able to find himself a yard of space but couldn’t direct his shot on target.

Then came the major incident of the first half. A ball over the top of the Loco defense was rushed onto by an attacker. The linesman on the near side put the flag up instantly but the referee allowed play to continue and the Harbourside attacker rounded Legg and tapped in for 2-0…..or was it! Although the referee orignally overruled the linesman, after a lengthy conversation between the pair and a number of complaints from both sides, the decision was overturned and the score remained 1-0. 　

The decision was even more favourable to the Loco Galacticos when Matty Groves levelled the scoring minutes later. Good link up play from the back saw Chris Hopkins fire the ball forward to Carmichael in the middle who sent Phillips down the right. The young winger found the feet of Groves who cut inside before firing a shot into the corner from the edge of the box. 1-1

The second half remained tightly matched in the opening stages, with both teams having significant scoring opportunities. However it was Harbourside who opened the second half scoring early on when their talismanic number 10 controlled the ball with his chest with his back to goal, 25 yards out before spinning and volleying the ball into the top corner. Not even a flying dive from Legg could prevent the ball bursting the net to give the visitors the advantage.　

Loco made a couple of changes in an attempt to reignite the fire, with Carmichael and Haines leaving the pitch to be replaced by Ayrton and the returning Jimmy Redford. The subsitution was all the more special due to the fact that Redford was returning to the fold after a lengthy 7 day retirement. There was also a change at right back as the young Sam Shearing replaced the injured Bendy Haines.

Shortly afterwards another awful moment of refereeing cost Loco a way back into the game. Good work from the Loco midfield saw the ball shifted wide to Shearing who put a ball in towards Eaton, but it was blocked. The ball ricocheted to Gray on the right hand side of the box and he was able to cut onto his left foot and whip the ball into the middle for the unmarked Eaton. The frontman cooly controlled the ball and slotted it home for what looked like 2-2 but the linesman had other ideas. Although clearly onside, Eaton was ruled to have strayed by the linesman, and after another lengthy conversation between ref and linesman the goal was ruled out.

Minutes later and Loco missed another opportunity to draw level, a corner from the right was met by the head of Ayrton whose arking 　effort eluded the goalkeeper but dropped fractionally wide of the far post.

The game continued to balance on a knife edge before a speculative effort from a quiet Harbourside midfielder. His pot shot from 25 yards looped over Legg who had come off his line to clear a previous attack. Luck was not on Loco’s side and the defeat was further compounded as the Galacticos poured forward in search of retribution. Two Harbourside attackers found themselves clear, rounded Legg and slotted the ball home. The full time whistle followed and a dejected Loco returned to the changing rooms.

Next week Loco travel to Merley to take on second place Trade Price UK. The boys in red and black will be looking to gain a measure of revenge after suffering a 3-0 home defeat to Trade Price earlier in the season.

Ferndown Loco marked a return to football after a frosty winter with a hard fought victory over local rivals AFC Burns Lettings. It was a case of new year, new kit and new result as not only did the Galacticos gain their first win since October, but also they kept their first clean sheet of the season.

                                    K Legg 

Jackson          J Legg                        Hall ©              B Haines 

Smith              Carmichael    J Haines                Gray

                                   Eaton

                                    Groves

Subs: Phillips, Carr

The sun was shining on the hallowed King George turf as Loco turned out against their local rivals in a mid table clash.  Donning the new home strip for the first time, the Galacticos were up for a battle in the hunt for three points that had eluded them for so long.  A make shift back four was not enough to worry the home side as they approached this game with a purpose that had been missing from recent performances.

A back and forth start saw the game dominated by the midfield in the early stages. However it was Burns who were the first to threaten a goal, getting a number of quick crosses into the box that were dealt with well by the Loco back four.

Confidence started to grow in the Ferndown camp as the home side began to push forward. A jinxing run by Eaton resulted in a shot just wide. Minutes late Andy Smith, playing in an unfamiliar right wing position, forced his way into the box before unleashing a pile driving effort, which flew just over the bar.

The action continued end to end until just before half time, loco forced the first major save out of the Burns goalkeeper. A clever run by Kyle “Whippet” Eaton saw him beat three men before being poleaxe by the last man. There were calls for a penalty but the referee adjudged the foul had occurred inches outside the box. A solid Mattie Groves strike from the resulting free kick was well saved by the opposition keeper.

With the half time whistle perched between the pursed lips of the referee, Jackson made one last charge for goal from right back. He forced his way into the opposition area before his Bambi on ice impression led to an easy coverage by the goalkeeper.

HALF TIME 0-0

An inspiring half time address from player/manager Ali Carmichael saw Loco turn out for the second half with even more determination to take three points from this deadlock.  

However an early scare came in with the sound of a ringing post as the Burns right winger cut inside to find himself free inside the box, but an onrushing Kris Legg cut down the angle and did enough to put off the winger as his resulting shot crashed off the post.

Loco were then forced to weather the storm as Burns continued to press forward. A shot from distance forced an excellent save out of the inspired Kris Legg and from the resulting corner, Andy Gray cleared was forced to clear a shot off the line.

The marauding Keith Jackson, then provided a moment of magic reminiscent of his first half charge, when he broke from the half way line, beating numerous defenders forcing himself into the box. A rush of blood to the head saw him take a pot shot into the side netting, when a cut back would have seen two of three Loco attackers ready to slot into an empty net.

The Galacticos then made a substitution, which almost provided immediate results. Phillips replaced Smith on the right wing. Minutes later a darting run from Mattie Groves allowed him to slide the ball across the goalmouth but the onrushing Phillips was inches short of getting on the end for a tap in.

Then came a moment no one was expecting, a loco corner was headed clear by a Burns defender. Loco winger Andy Gray, who had had a very quiet game so far, was stood on the edge of the area and the met the dropping clearance on the edge of the area and fizzed a volley across goal. Despite having his view blocked by Jonny Haines, the goalkeeper was able to make a strong save to his right. The ball then fell to the feet of Phillips two yards out, but the young flyer showcased some South American flair, by falling over the ball.

Burns then pushed forward again, the right back whipping in a cross come shot which almost eluded the backtracking Legg in a moment reminiscent of Ronaldinho’s World Cup embarrassment of David Seaman. However, unlike England’s ponytailed, moustachioed chopper….the enigmatic, clean shaven and sensibly trimmed Legg was able to get a solid hand to the attempt, keeping the scores level.

More drama was to follow as Loco were denied what seemed like a blatant penalty. A dangerous corner from Gray looked to have found Jonny Haines, but as he went up for the header he was bundled over in the six-yard box. The referee waved away the appeals much to the disbelief of the home side.  

Dan Carr was then introduced to the frame, replacing Carmichael with quarter of an hour to play. The young buck took his place at right back and was into the action straight away, lunging in front of a Burns attacker, denying him what looked like a certain goal.

Then came the moment that Loco had been hoping for. As the game ticked into stoppage time, all the hard work of the Galaticos paid off as Eaton found himself a yard of space in front of the last defender. He broke into the box, taking a touch to his right, drawing the goalkeeper out of his goal. Eaton’s resulting shot was well blocked by the opposition keeper, but fortune favours the brave and as the ball squirmed across the face of goal, onrushing Loco winger Andy Gray was able to poke home the loose ball from two yards.

Celebrations ensued as Loco rejoiced. Even player/manager Ali Carmichael, who had been substituted, galloped onto the pitch to join in.

The restart was just a formality as moments later the final whistle blew and Loco had snatched three points from an excellent encounter that could easily have gone either way.

FULL TIME 1-0

Next week sees the two teams square off again as Burns host Loco. Burns will be looking to exact revenge on the Galaticos while Loco will be looking to continue their winning run and begin to climb the table.

MOM: Kris Legg for an outstanding display between the sticks

GIMP: Scott Phillips for collapsing in front of goal when a tap in seemed a formality.

Opposition: Eurosat

Matched Postponed

Fernodown Locomotive’s return to action after the festive break was put on hold for another week after seeing today’s game called off.

The stage was set for a rejuvenated Loco to kick off the season in style as they lined up against league leaders Eurasat Lions on a cold morning in Broadstone. However the referee had other ideas.

The Galacticos arrived for the away fixture to a field of white ice, despite the bright sunshine and blue skies. Despite the unlikely chance of the game going ahead, the team kitted up and took to the pitch for the warm up.

Loco were adorned in their brand new red and black strip and were looking lively in the warm up, whilst the opposition seemed forlorn and uninterested. Spirits were high in the Loco camp and they were ready to cause an upset.

Unfortunately hopes were dashed when the match referee decided to call off the game due to unsafe playing conditions, having already delayed kickoff by 45 minutes.

On a brighter note, Loco A defeated Loco B in a 8 a side training match. The team of Haines, Haines, Gray, Carr, Eaton, Smith, Carmicheal and Constable combined to comfortably defeat their opponents, with the lively Gray bagging a sublime left-foot, right-foot, header hattrick.

As a unit the Loco Galacticos looked raring to go for 2010 and ready to start the spring surge into the upper echelons of Division 3.

Press packed the room in anticipation, all hoping to get a first glance at the strip that would take the Hayward 3rd Division by storm.

There was a buzz of excitement that turned to silence as the doors swung open. Newly installed Loco manager, Ali Carmichael, marched through the open door dressed head to toe in immaculate black, red and white. Flashbulbs filled the room as Carmichael strode through the smoke screen and took pride of place, chest protruding, in front of the packed room…

The new strip, released just in time for Christmas, coincides with a recent new sponsorship deal which has seen the White Heather and Adidas team up with Ferndown Locomotive for 2010.

For the Loco Galacticos, it was the first time they had seen the kit in the flesh and Jonny Haines trousers could barely contain the excitment.

On holding the kit for the first time, star striker Kyle Eaton exclaimed “It’s nice”.

After the link up with Adidas, rumours are rife that Loco are ready to launch a last minute hijack of AC Milan’s loan bid for David Beckham.

Beckham is expected to be interested in the move as he is keen on the way he looks in black and red stripes after his loan move to Milan last year and is said to relish the thought of playing alongside Dave Hall.

The new kit will make its first appearance on Sunday morning when Loco take on Queens Park at King George V Stadium.

On a serious note, Ferndown Locomotive would like to extend a huge thank you to Willie and the White Heather for their support this season. We look forward to a long partnership as well as going out every Sunday and wearing the shirt with pride.

Below: Manager: Ali Carmeicheal and Player Rep: Jonny Haines present Michelle from The White Heather with commemorative Big Willie shirt (for the landlord) and bouquet of Tescos finest

*Disclaimer: aspects of the report may have been embelished

A muggy Sunday morning saw the mighty Galacticos of Ferndown Locomotive welcome league leaders Trade Price UK to the hallowed turf of King George V. It was a tough prospect for the boys in red, with the opposition having only dropped 3 points so far this season and with a very impressive goal difference. The Loco AWOL list was looking long, with goal machine Kyle Eaton tucked up in bed and Mike Constable uncontactable. Add these to an injury list which includes defensive monster Keith Jackson and midfield maestro Jonny Haines and Loco were dealt a cruel hand from the off. Despite this, a strong team could still be fielded, with the notable inclusion of debutant Sam (Needs a Surname) at right back.

LINE UP

                                        Franks

Sam               Redford                 Marchant               Webb

Gray            Carmichael                Ayrton                Phillips

                           Groves              Smith

Subs:
Eaton, Roberts, Hall, Legg

Loco’s woes continued as they fell victim to the league leaders on Sunday. Despite a spirited performance, the home team were unable to prevent Trade Price extending their lead at the top of the table with a 3-0 win.

A goal early on from a deep free kick put the visitors in the driving seat and it was always going to be an uphill battle for the home side from there. Two more goals either side of half time compounded the defeat and sentenced Loco to their second successive defeat.

Despite the result it was actually Loco that started the stronger, dominating the aerial battle and controlling possession it looked like an upset could be on the cards. The deadlock was almost opened unexpectedly when winger  Andy Gray put in a cross that was blocked by the opposing centre back, but the rebound fell back at the feet of the winger, whose cross-come-shot crashed off the cross bar.

Minutes later and Loco were again denied by the woodwork when Matty Groves cut inside from the right and curled a left footed shot that had the keeper beaten but clipped the far post on its way wide.

After the early pressure, it was Trade Price who took the lead against the run of play, in fortunate circumstances. A free kick from deep was curled harmlessly into the box and looked to guzzled up by the goalkeeper Rob Franks. Unfortunately the man in grey was left wrong footed, anticipating a flick that never came. Couple that with a hard bounce and misjudgement was almost expected. The flumouxed goalkeeper could do nothing to stop Loco going behind and the score was 1-0. The keeper did well to redeem himself after the mistake, making a number of solid saves, including two one on ones in which it seemed the only possible outcome was ‘goal’.

An unfortunate first half injury to left back Matthew Webb saw Kyle Eaton introduced to the fray after his late arrival. A formation shift saw Phillips drop to left back, Gray move to the left wing, Smith to the right, and Eaton pushed up front alongside Groves.

Loco continued to force the issue on Trade Price, creating chances but unable to provide that killer touch. It proved to be costly as Loco fell further behind before the half-time whistle when the oppositions large centreforward forced his way through the Loco defensive line and slotted cooly past Franks.

HALF TIME: 0-2

The game continued to be an even contest during the second half, the only difference between the sides remained the finishing. This could not have been better epitomised then when Luke Ayrton earned himself the gimp of the game award. Loco broke fast down the right with Gray slotting the ball through to Eaton who raced down the wing and played in Groves. Groves was able to beat his man but was forced wide. In the meantime, Ayrton had hammered down the middle of the pitch to catch up with play. Groves then slotted the ball across the face of goal, leaving Ayrton with the simplest of tap ins from no more than a yard out. However sliding in he somehow managed to scoop the ball over the bar. The versatile midfielder lay head in hands on the goal line as he tried to comprehend what he had just done. Loco’s best chance was gone.

Not long later and Loco were denied again. A ball over the top from Carmichael was chased down the left by Gray. Cutting inside his man, the winger found himself in bags of space and was able to slot the ball to Eaton, whose first time shot was beaten over the cross bar by the larger than life goalkeeper.

Despite the pressure, Loco could not capitalise and found themselves 3-0 down after a slick passage of play saw a cheeky backheel play the stirker clean through. He had plenty of time to steady himself and roll the ball home.

As the final whistle blew, it seemed the scoreline flattered the visitors, but as Loco slip further down the table, they will be looking for a big win next week against AFC Burns Letting, who currently sit above them on goal difference.

MOM: Craig Marchant, the shining light with a solid performance at centre back
GOG: The one and only Luke Ayrton for the miss of the season! Look out for it on this weeks Soccer AM (Taxi for Ayrton!)

It seems that Winter has arrived on the Hayward 3rd Division as Loco took to the Wallisdown pitch on a chilly Sunday morning for the second time in three weeks, to take on the youthful Rossmore Athletic. After defeat in the cup against the very same opponents only 14 days previous, the Ferndown boys, in their changed all blue strip, were looking to gain a measure of revenge for the 7-2 defeat. There was a notable change to the Loco starting line up in the form of new signing, Goalkeeper Rob Frank (NO not the aussie loco legend number 3) . There was also a boost in the form of Matt Webb who returned to the fray after two weeks out with a dickey ankle.
 

Line-Up

                                 Frank

Webb             Constable         Redford(c)        B.Haines

Eaton               Ayrton              Carmichael        Gray
 
                      Roberts         Groves

Subs: Phillips, Dall, Andrews

The word from the gaffer was to get stuck in and shake them up early on, and the Loco backline definitely took the advice, dominating the aerial arena in the opening stages. The game was very well contested, with both teams having their fair share of possession on a horribly bobbly pitch in which it was easy to make mistakes.  The Galacticos created a number of chances early on, without really testing the oppositions Giant Ginger Goalkeeper.
A slick passage of play saw Gray slide a disguised ball through to Groves inside the box, but the frontman was unable to get away from his marker and get a shot off. 

Rossmore broke on the counter-attack and were only denied taking the lead thanks to a moment of brilliant defending by the arse of Matt Webb. The young attacker rounded the new loco keeper only see his goalbound shot blocked by the rearend of workhorse right-back Webb.

Minutes later and Groves was at it again. After being put through down the leftside, Groves turned inside his man and got himself into a shooting position but saw his shot blocked by a lunging Rossmore defender.

No sooner had Groves and Loco bemoaned the missed opportunity, they found themselves 1-0 down. In a very similar scenario to ten minutes previous, the Rossmore striker took the ball round Frank in the Loco goal and slotted into the empty net despite a late lunge from the flying Webb, who was unable to provide a block of the same quality as in their previous attack.

The deficit only seemed to spur Loco on, as they hit back with a vengeance. Creating a string of chances and finally testing the goalkeeper, with a pair of dangerous dead balls, the first from Luke Ayrton, the second from Andy Gray. Both caused the opposition goalkeeper to beat the ball away from the marauding Kyle Eaton.

It wasn’t long before Loco were level. After winning a thrown in on the right flank, a trademark Matt ‘Delap’ Webb dart found the head of Eaton who’s flick on sent Ayrton clear, beating two men before unleashing a stinging effort across the keeper. The lanky stopper was only able to parry the effort which fell at the feet of the chasing Andy Gray who was unable to steady himself before poking the ball home. The scores were now level and it really was game on.

Both teams created opportunities before halftime, although neither were able to take them. The better of the chances fell to the opposition who saw a long range effort clip the top of the bar, before a stinging strike drew a solid save by the debutant Frank.

There was just enough time for one more moment of drama before the halftime whistle, when Loco youngster Jack Roberts was brought down in the corner. Although a seemingly innocuous challenge, Roberts did call for the bench. As the half-time whistle blew, the red-eyed youngster had to be consoled by seasoned pro Matt Webb, as a tear or four streamed down his cheek. The incident was met with a substitution as he was replaced by young Scotty Phillips, safe in the knowledge that he had wrapped up the Gimp of the Game prize with 45 minutes to spare.

HALF TIME 1-1

After a team talk that would have made Al Pacino proud in Any Given Sunday, Loco started the second half brightly, enjoying a monopoly of possession and really taking the game to the young opponents. Inside five minutes, a game-changing decision by the referee saw Loco denied a blatant penalty. A quick passage of play through the middle saw Kyle Eaton played through. The pacy frontman moved into the box where he was hacked down by the covering centre-back. Despite Kyle being a good 10 feet inside the box as he hit the ground the referee signalled for a freekick. Both Eaton and on the spot reporter/right winger Andy Gray looked on in bewilderment as the referee described the incident as taking place “miles outside the box” and requesting that the free kick be taken from the line on the edge of the penalty box. The free-kick came to nothing and within 90 seconds Loco were 2-1 down after another refereeing howler.

A ball into the Loco box was contested by Mike Constable, who received a blatant push in the back. But the referee saw the opportunity to use his trademark “No Chance” cry, before watching his side slot themselves into a 2-1 lead. Despite mass protest, the referee was having none of it and Loco found themselves on the back foot once more.

Never a team to give up hope, Loco fought back and took the game by the scruff of the neck, continuing to create chances. Two close efforts followed, as Scotty Phillips met a long throw flick on only to see his curling effort sneak inches wide. Moments later and a running volley from left back Bendy Haines had the keeper beaten but was pulled just wide of goal.

They didn’t have to wait long to get themselves back on level terms, as a searching ball from centre midfield maestro Ali Carmichael whipped a ball forward that was latched onto by the impressive Eaton. He managed to fool his man before looping a dangerous ball into the six yard that was met by the head of substitute Scotty Phillips. His effort dipped under the cross bar, drawing Loco level and sending the away support into a state of delirium.

The goal sparked life into the Galacticos as they continued to dominate possession and at times it looked like if either team were going to win, it was going to be the visitors in blue! Chances were rife, but Loco were unable to find the killer chance to take the lead as time began to run out.

The defense continued to look strong after the substition of Matt Webb who picked up a knock and was replaced by Neil Dall, with the phenomenal  Jimmy Redford snuffing out every potential opportunity Rossmore created, including a lunging goalsaving tackle that would have made Ledley King a proud man.

Then disaster struck! A long ball looked to have been snuffed out by the dominant Loco Skipper Jimmy Redford, took a huge bounce of the uneven pitch and fell at the feet of the man with the worst haircut in football, who took a touch and unleashed a dipping volley that looked to be comfortable for the Loco ‘keeper. However, for the second time in thirty seconds, a bizarre bounce bitchslapped the Galacticos. The ball bounced hard and flummoxed the goalkeeper, sneaking beyond him.

A pathetic celebration followed, in which a personal putdown from the opposition was met with the response from Constable of “If i’m ugly then how come i’ve slept with nine girls in as many weeks”…….lets just hope they were of a better quality than the WAGS Rossmore had on show….Vicky Pollard anyone?

As time ran out Loco pushed but could not find the breakthrough to draw level. The final whistle blew and it was Rossmore who left with the three points in a very close game that could have gone either way. Loco can be proud in the way they responded to the previous meeting between the two sides and gained back a measure of respect.

It’s now time to look forward to next week’s home clash with league leaders Trade Price UK. The Galacticos will go in believing they have a great chance of causing an upset and closing the gap at the top of the table.

MOM: This week was awarded to skipper Jimmy Redford for his dominant display at centre-back, winning everything in the air
Gimp: A unanimous decision saw Jack Roberts awarded the prize for his Gazza Impression at half time
Another lyrical offering from A.Gray

All of which has NO RELEVANCE to the brain child of Dangerous Dan Carr and Matty Grovel Groves…

P U B   S C O U T S . . . .

Bob a job… dyb, dyb, dyb… boys in shorts and big hats: do the general public really know what modern Scouting is all about? Well the unfortunate Bournemouth public are about to find out…

The Plan

Friday October 30th - 7.30pm meet at Aruba
 
Another alcohol and banter fuelled night is round the corner, and im moist with anticipation. The theme is ‘Pub Scouts’ and the aim is to earn as many badges as possible by completing challenges!
 
Being a Pub Scouts social, the first badge will be awarded to people who some dressed as Scouts i.e.-….

 
Any shirt, BUT neck-scarf thing with a woggle is essential wear, in turn earning you the first ‘badge’ of the night.
 
You will all receive a list of 15 possible other badges that you Scouts can earn over the course of the night, some drink related, some dare related, but all will make for a funny night, for example-

• Get a picture with a tramp badge
• Necking a drink without touching the glass badge
• Serenade a fat woman badge
• Double Jaiger-bomb badge
• ….to name but a few

Lord Robert Baden-Powell would be proud!!!!

The 30th also is close enough to two of the Glacticos birthdays for it be classed as a Birthday night out too..

Luke Mellor (loco legend and soon to sign for the new season) and the Goal Machine Eaton can expect additional birthday related drinking tasks for sure!

Please contact Jonny if you need any more details!!!

In perfect footballing conditions at King George on Sunday, the mighty Ferndown Locomotive returned to league action after last week’s cup defeat, looking to bounce back and take all 3 points. The game also marked the return of Loco manager Paul Phillips, after a three week hiatus, scouting on the Costa Del Sol. The opposition came in the form of bottom of the league Fernside Sports. Having lost all of their games so far and conceding almost 30 goals in 3 appearances this term, it seemed like it would be a straightforward day at the office for the Galacticos. With the return of a number of key players to the fold, things looked good for Loco…..despite half of the starting line up arriving in a state of inebriation. A highlight was a post-birthday lash Mike Constable practicing his striking of an imaginary football during the gaffer’s pre-game team talk!

Line-Up

                                      Legg

Constable        Marchant           Redord(c)        B.Haines

 
Eaton             Ayrton              Carmicheal              Gray

 
                         Smith         Groves
Subs: Philips, Roberts, Hall

On the lush green turf that caresses the the soles of the Loco boots at King George, the boys in black and red started brightly, seizing control of the game early on. Creating a number of quick chances, Loco tested the cap wearing flapper (No, not Leggy) in the opposition goal. Despite the early pressure it was lowly Fernside who took the lead in dubious circumstances. A dangerous freekick eluded the loco defensive line where it was punched home by one of the pyjama wearing centre backs. 1-0 down, but against the run of play.

It wasn’t long before the Galaticos hit back when the attacking persistance and possessional (??) superiority finally paid off. A corner from Goal Machine Kyle Eaton was floated in towards the front boot where it was met by the left boot of Andy ‘Goldenballs’ Gray. The little winger connected on the turn, but a dodgy connection baffled the defense and it squirmed into the bottom corner. 1-1.

Soon after Loco took the lead. The ever surprising Tank played a perfect looped ball over the Fernside midfield line (Intentional or not, it was truly sublime) where it was met by a jinxing run by Luke Ayrton that saw him beat the majority of the hapless Fernside defenders before curling his shot beautifully in off the post. 2-1 and Loco were well in control.

Two more goals were to follow before halftime. A highlight from nowhere came from Bendy Haines who’s rasping 35 yard goal bound bullett drive deserved more than the keepers lunging block. Makeshift centre-forward Andy Smithlar made it 3-1 after sticking his oversized noggin on a trademark Andy G corner. The ball looped over the gooalkeeper whod taken a vacation on the penalty spot and could do nothing to stop Smith extending Loco’s lead, and the subsequent embarrassing rendition of Peter Crouch’s robot dance. The 4th goal came through Matty G. The cocky striker picked up the ball inside the opposition half, beat his marker and left the flailing goalkeeper for dead as he rounded him and calmly slotted home.

HALF TIME: LOCO 4-1 Fernside

Loco started the second half as they ended the first, dominating possession and making sure of the three points early on. Substitute Scotty Phillips, who had replaced Bendy Haines, was set through in acres of space, allowing him plenty of time to keep his composure, steady his spindly frame, and cooly slot home to ensure victory, with the 5th goal for the mighty Loco lads.

Not long after, the entourage of Loco support were treated to a piece of Cristiano Ronaldo style brilliance, sprinkled with a dash of Lionel Messi. Goal Machine Kyle Eaton found himself unmarked in the opposition box with the ball at his feet and nowhere to go. The angle looked impossible, but not for this man! He was able to cooly loft the spherical wand over the confidence stricken goalkeeper and into the far corner. 6-1 and it really was time for Loco to enjoy themselves.

Fernside did hit back with a headed goal from a corner kick, but it proved to be just a mere consolation effort as it failed to kick start any level of revival.

Minutes late and the slowly sobering Andy G, who had switched to left back, was carried from the pitch after an unfortunate collision. Finding himself high up the pitch, the left back was wiped out by a crunching tackle, requiring the assistance of the magic sponge. The injury did however mean that Loco were able to make their final substitution and bring on the returning Dave Hall who had not yet featured this term following a broken toenail.

All was not finished yet however as a flair up almost caused a punch up both on and off the pitch. Marine and Loco hardman Craig “Tank” Marchant was unhappy with an opposition player and proceeded to provide him with a barrage of ‘friendly’ shoves before whistling off a list of expletives directed at the young opponent. Not only did this earn Tank a yellow card, it also sparked a touchline row between the injured Jonny Haines and a random frenchman, believed to be someone involved with the opposition, possibly on a personal level.

As the red mist died down, Loco had just enough time to add one more goal, as Kyle Eaton found himself in a similar position to his earlier goal but on the opposite side of the pitch. He then proceeded to better his previous effort with another sublime lob. With the ball trapped under his feet, Eaton was able to dig it out and provide the home support with a moment of magic.      

7-2 and Loco moved into third position in Division 3, with games in hand that could see them go top. Confidence is high as the Galacticos travel to the concrete of Wallisdown for their next game, against Rossmore Athletic, where Loco will be looking to gain revenge after last week’s cup exit on the very same pitch.

Man of the Match: The marauding middle man Luke Ayrton for his ochestration of the game from midfield
Gimp of the Match: Centre-Back Tank for his inability to floor his opponent with three attempts, despite his military stature!

From the quill of Andy Gray

04-10-09 Rossmore Athletic (5) 7-2 (1) FERNDOWN LOCOMOTIVE

On a dry Sunday morning, the Loco Galacticos took to the pitch at Wallisdown to take on a young Rossmore Athletic side in the first round of the In-Excess Cup. Despite a poor recent cup record, Loco went into the match full of confidence following an impressive victory the previous week. The boys in blue were dealt a blow early in the morning when midfield enforcer Matt “Webby” Webb was forced to pull out after rolling his ankle, but the squad was boosted by the return of the goal machine Kyle Eaton. However, his late arrival forced stand-in gaffer Kris Legg to start him from the bench.

Line-Up

Andrews…….Tank, Neil, Jimmy, Bendy……..Andy G, Cunny, Smithy, Scotty ……..Ali……Matty G

Subs: The Goal Machine (45 - Scotty)
On a rock solid pitch, a slow start to the game saw a number of mistakes and many exchanges in possession. The youthful Rossmore side started to get into their stride and take control of the game. However, persistance and patience from the Loco boys paid off as they took the lead against the run of play. A superb solo effort from Matty G saw Loco 1-0 up. Picking up the ball on the left wing he beat his man before cutting inside the last defender and beating the helpless goalkeeper at his near post.

A bright spell almost saw Loco score again as a ball from Matty G fell to Andy G on the edge of the box, but he pulled his snap shot just wide. The Galactico’s lead didn’t last much longer though as a misjudgement by goalkeeper Paul Andrew levelled the scoring. A half shot from the corner of the box looked to be heading wide, but as Andrews watched the ball wide, it snuck in at the far post t the despair of the keeper and the surprise of everyone on the pitch. 1-1

Minutes later Loco were 2-1 down as a cross from the right wing looked to be snuffed out by the goalkeeper, but under a challenge from the Rossmore forward the ball fell loose for the attacker to slot the ball into an empty net.

Rossmore went on to enjoy a free scoring spell, including a superb volley from the young left winger from the edge of the box, that saw the Galaticos with a mountain to climb as they went into halftime with a 5-1 deficit.

Prior to the halftime whistle, Loco picked up their first booking of the game. A poor decision from the ref saw a foul given after Smithy made a perfectly good challenge to win the ball. This provoked Cunny to question the referee’s competance and a request for him to “Stop being big time”. The headstrong referee gave Smithy a warning before producing the yellow for Cunny.

A dressing down at half time from the stand in boss and a tactical substitution, which saw Eaton enter the fray for young Scotty, produced a much better spell for Loco as they started to come into the game and give a much better showing of the quality they possess.

An excellent passage of play down the right side allowed Ali to slide the ball through for Eaton for his first chance but a miscued shot didn’t trouble the Ginger Giant in the Rossmore goal.

Minutes of later and Eaton was at it again. A quick short corner allowed Andy G space to whip in a cross for the scruffy front man who’s thunderous header crashed off the cross bar.

Loco’s persistance soon paid off as the marauding Tank got on the end of an excellent ball from Neil Dall to make it 5-2. After a loco attack broke down, the Rossmore children attempted to counter, however, they hadn’t accounted for the deadly accuracy, of the Loco centerback. Dall intercepted the ball and hoofed it (with pinpoint accuracy) up the pitch where the Loco attacking trio of Eaton, Ali and Matty G were all offside and in the middle of trudging back. A shout from Ali warning the trio not to attack the ball allowed Tank to motor through from an onside position and beat the goalkeeper with an excellent strike. Could we be on for a Loco fightback of preseason proportions?!

Minutes later and Kyle “Could have had a hat-trick” Eaton should have scored with that giant head of his. A pinpoint corner from Andy G (the G standing for Goldenballs) was met by Eaton but his header was straight at the flapping monster in the Rossmore goal.

A bizzare moment also saw Loco maestro Jonny Haines removed from the fray, despite the fact he was on the touchline on his crutches. The referee’s no swearing policy apparently applied to all involved as the chirpy Haines was given a stern warning after persistant dropping of the F-Bomb.

Loco continued to dominate the 2nd half but as often happens when chasing a game, conceded again against the run of play as the whole team pushed up the pitch. A ball over the top allowed the pacey Rossmore frontman to beat the offside trap finding himself in acres of space. Despite a gallant effort from Andrews in goal, the striker was able to knock it round him and tap it, making it 6-2 and ending the game as a contest.

In the dying moments a pot shot from distance saw Rossmore go 7-2 up. A crashing 25 yard strike was unstoppable and Loco were beaten.

Another week, another early cup exit, and once again Loco can concentrate on the league. A home game on the lush grass of King George against Fernside Sports gives the Galacticos the chance to bounce back and claim another three points on the road to promotion!