Luke Mellor

Where do I begin with this fine specimen?

I was about to say that up until recently, Mellor could often be seeing blowing out of his arse on a Sunday morning, however a recent pre-season friendly against Hordle made me think otherwise.

This boy is a keen footballer, and keen drinker, however this season he looks to be changing his ways, and this has been evident in his constant appearances at training for Loco, and his cool and cosistent performances on the pitch for the Division Three side.

Mellor is the best deliverer of dead balls in the league, and his crossing is generally fantastic - he can be really skillfull on the ball, despite that fact that there is a 90% chance that he was on the beers only two hours before the fixture (the shoes and shirt combo at half nine is always a giveaway Mellor).

Luke has been with Loco for a long time now, and this season, if he dis-spells the stereotypical opinions that we all have of him, he could well be contending for Player of the Season.