Mike Constable

Mike Constable aka…. Cunnie, Cun-dog

Position: Centre back, right back,  utility unit

The charismatic midfield general himself, Mike Constable is another acquisition from dodgy Football agent Dan Carr and has hit the Loco ground running. From the moment he strode into the Loco changing room he bored us with his emotional ‘issues’ and tried to convince us his ‘guns’ were worth looking at…instead making himself prime target for bullying i.e. the Deep Heat in the pants gag, …and how we laughed! …with revenge in his sights, Cunnie is bound to keep the Loco boys on our toes both in the changing rooms and on the pitch.

This cheeky chap has settled in quickly and his keep it simple and give it easy style play has made him a cracking summer acquisition, hopefully rubbing off on the rest of team. We look forward to many Man of the Match performances linking up with his idol Sean Hebdon in defence and some awesome Loco nights out throughout the season….but the gaffer must decide where to play him, right back or centre back, to quote Cunnie himself ‘i can’t believe i can play like such a c*** when i move from one position to another, literally yards apart’ (refferring to his ropey showing at right back before switching to centre back).

Mikey also appears to have adopted a case of torrettes with a missed tackle or header often being followed by a verbal spasm of ‘c***, s**t, b******s!!!’ . Keep up the good work Cun-dog.